THE MILLIONAIRE’$ $ECRET TO $UCCE$$
Dear Fellow Off-Duty Millionaire,
I used to be just like everybody else. I had so much cash I had to ask my tailor to cut my suits special to hold my wallet. I owned most of the banks in town, and so much property I could have seceded from the Union and been the third wealthiest country. I had more cars than Cal Worthington, and so many yachts that my private beach looked like Bremerton. I hardly ever went into the office to work, and when I did I would only stay long enough to give away a million bucks to one of my friends. On my many days off, I treated my family like royalty.
And … just like you … I would occasionally have money problems.
Until I learned the $ecret.
My first thought was, “It can’t be this simple.” But I tried it, and it worked. My friends tried it, too, and now they are so successful they don’t have time to come by or call anymore. You too can start using the power methods of my $ecret immediately, even if you are extremely gullible and people consistantly take advantage of you.
Why should I tell you my $ecret? Well, I’m not going to give it to you for free, but look what you’ll get for your $10.94:
- How to $ave $ave $ave on everything you buy.
- How to know when you’ve saved too much (it can happen!).
- How to know in advance when you are going to save money.
- What to do with all the money you save.
- How you can benefit by spending other people’s money (3 steps).
- Why the Soviets refused me a patent on my $ecret.
- How to spend yourself rich.
- Why nobody in his right mind would guarantee an offer like this.
- Why most people go to prison using my $ecret.
The $ecret that took me hours to discover is now yours for only $10.95. But hurry and send in your money before I change my mind. I’d have to be insane to tell you anything!
President, Budget Busters
1092 Black Sands Way
Hugh Cant Budget Atoll, South Pacific
P.S. Frankly, it beats me why anyone would refuse an offer like this. In 1956, a group of soldiers died during a top-secret military experiment. None of them knew what I am offering you. Are you willing to take that chance?
Okay, Hugh. Send me ___5 ___8 ___27 copy(s) of your $ecret, “$pend Yourself Rich (The Millionaire’s $ecret to $ucce$$)” at $10.96. I am enclosing cash. I trust you.
By the way, also send me ___16 ___41 ___666 new copy(s) of “Hugh Cant Fights City Hall” at $10.93. I’ve worn out my old copy(s).