A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a young woman — quite nearly a girl, actually — who had a head full of do what she liked. And, although her parents had try’d to discourage her from it, most of her tyme was spent out walking this head of hers. You see, heads aren’t like snakes and other pets, which don’t need to be exercised. To make matters worse, this head had grown quite accustom’d to all the attention and soon came to demand it.

Her parents were in a quandary. What can we do about our child? they would ask over and over of themselves. For a while they took away her Jefferson Airplane records, which seemed always to be urging the chyld to feed your head, but the young woman could remember the lyricks and so foil’d them.

As you can no doubt well imagine, things were getting into sorrier and sorrier states, and one day the inevitable happen’d. The young woman was out walking her head, allowing it to spit on fire hydrants whenever it wish’d (and so on), when they were spy’d by the Community Headcatcher, a Publick Employee. Because the young woman was walking her head with neither leash nor license, as were required, the Headcatcher had her and her head cold.

But this was not an obedient young woman, and when advised by the Headcatcher, Stop head, she disobey’d, and ran into some bushes to hyde, taking her head with her. As luck would have it, though, the Publick Employee was quite experienced at this sort of thing, and soon had them flush’d out of the bushes, which proved to be the end of her dirty old head.

Moral: Young ladies should take care in their behaviour lest they be pick’d up by the fuzz.