Sugar Crime

The Crime

John and Laura grab each other passionately. Squirming with delight, their love flows into one another’s mouths. Suddenly, John’s hand seizes a fist-full of Laura’s hair. Laura gasps for breath as the pain shoots through her scalp.

The intensity in John’s grip stuns Laura and she drops her arms from around his muscular back. Pulling viciously, John forces Laura to her knees, her head snapping back as she kneels involuntarily. John, madness in his eyes, slams his lollypop against Laura’s lips. Tearfully, she looks up at him.

Why, John?

I hate health foods, Laura. I always have. I always will.

The Cause

Was John on drugs? You might have thought so, but who cares what you think? He might have been, but he wasn’t this time. John’s problem is sugar. Honey, fructose, dextrose, glucose, aspartime, Nutrasweet, C2H4O3, Saccarine, Sweet ’n’ Low; whatever you call it, it’s the deadliest drug of all. This, according to Boswell, was the problem with Johnson. Every day, millions of people all over the world commit crimes of violence … all because of sugar. Don’t let this happen to you. If you see someone dealing sweets in your neighborhood, report the matter to the F.B.I., and then forget about unless instructed to do otherwise by the authorities.