My résumés

As you might suspect from glancing over the materials on my site, I not only can do it all, I have done it all. Just cast your eyes across my résumés if you don't believe me.

• Magazine writing achievements
• Show business achievements

If you're thinking of hiring me, here's my birth certificate so you can get your HR people up to speed:

• My Certificate of Live Birth

I would, however, appreciate it if you could pay me "off the books":

• My burn notice